


displacement

by lunasea444



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Short Drabble, Simulation AU, more of a looking into sort of thing, still nothing serious lol... and more of a vent sort of thing, virtual reality au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasea444/pseuds/lunasea444
Summary: Saihara Shuichi feels displaced.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	displacement

Saihara feels absolutely displaced.

Waking up from the kiIIing game, he sees exactly what they meant when they said that they'd no longer have a place to belong to in the real world.

Because they're fictional characters with made up personalities and backgrounds.

They had been given screennames, and thus still technically had a name in the real world—but their old names never really fit anymore.

They had been once real people, so maybe their families would have taken them back in—right?

Wrong. As it turned out, before signing himself up for the kiIIing, he was his parents' pariah.

The way they logged out of the simulation burned the fiction into their heads. Contrast to dying in the game, their end overrode trying to give back memories, all aspects of who they were before the show—they were meant to have died in the execution after all, but Kiibo had made sure otherwise.

( _sometimes he thinks Kiibo should have just let them die._ _but Yumeno or Harukawa doesn’t need to know that._ )

Even if he was now desirable compared to how and who he was before the game, even if this meant he could start anew with mom and dad, it just wasn't him anymore—he was Saihara Shuichi, not Saihara Shuya.

( _it wasn't their nature to take him back anyway, either, no matter what_.)

Meanwhile Harukawa had actually been an orphan to begin with, and Yumeno felt far too uncomfortable with her other folks, after she was similarly turned away.

They had to support each other afterwards, no problem. They managed to fit right back in, maybe not in this world, but they managed to fit in together, between themselves, just enough to be able to face the world.

The girls manage to adjust seemingly, but as for Saihara,

he felt absolutely displaced.

Despite being alive for twenty-three years already, the concept of who he is in the present was born the moment Danganronpa had created Saihara Shuichi, the Super High School Level Detective—a shy two years ago when his past self entered the simulation.

It kinda fucks with you, you know?

That your whole being, every memory he had, every person he met, are all fake—it messes with your head.

It messes with your head, when even your personality was written out by someone else.

He's reminded himself time and time, Harukawa and Yumeno both reminded him too, that what mattered now was that they were their own being after the game, what mattered was that even if everything about their past was fake,

what they are, who they are, what they felt and are feeling and will feel—are all very real.

So why does he still feel like this?

How come Harukawa and Yumeno managed, how come he can't?

Why does he feel so displaced?

Perhaps it was written into him too, to be so attached—how awful. He should not be attached to anything in that SHOW. Not DANGANRONPA.

Sometimes, on his commute to work (he worked at a front desk.) he would see people from his past.

Past meaning people from the show he was in—

None of whom retained MEMORIES or FEELINGS they had when they were in the simulation.

Part of the loser bargain, of course.

He'd see them and want to reach out to them but he knows it's just moot.

He knows because he made the mistake of taking Akamatsu by the hand out of pure instinct when he saw her at the end of the train car.

She took her hand away from him as swiftly as he took it, and with an annoyed, displeased look on her face, walked away.

_—Oi, Saihara._

The lack of an honorific stabbed him in the gut.

_—You know those that died in the game aren't the same people out here, right._

I know.

_—Just cuz we touched hands in game doesn't mean shit out here. So leave it. If you understand–get lost._

Right. Sorry.

He got lost that day, after getting off the wrong station.

After sobbing on a park bench he had to call Harukawa to tell her about his location situation.

It's instances of meeting his old 'classmates' that really spins these thoughts even more. His issues with his whole fabricated EVERYTHING just wasn't enough.

It's so bad that sometimes he wished he was back in the game instead.

At least he was in constant danger being in there.

Out here it just felt like... no matter how real the tears he cried were, they were for nothing because his 'classmates' are actually alive and well, walking somewhere here in the real world.

It's cruel—a sick joke. His emotions are paradoxical—they were definitely real because he felt them. At the same time they aren't, because he may as well have been written into feeling them.

And he doesn't know what to think, what to do—

Because he feels BAD that somehow he wishes he was back in that stupid game. At least there, his feelings were natural reactions.

Out here, Saihara's just a relic of a franchise that was milked for far too long.

He wasn't Saihara Shuichi.

But that's all he knows who he is—Saihara Shuichi.

It's a frustrating feeling of a paradox.

He doesn't feel he's meant to be here.

He feels absolutely displaced.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm just posting my drabbles onto ao3. if the formatting for this feels weird, that's bc i first tweeted this as a thread on twt (@shuuwarin) and cross-posted it to facebook a month ago, and it isn't until now that i sat down to clean it up a bit.
> 
> thanks for reading.  
> (i'm just randomly posting some of my stuff up don't mind me.)
> 
> your love blossoms around me will still be updated and finished in the future, i swear.


End file.
